


Last Night I Dreamt (That Somebody Loved Me)

by Imagined



Series: Even Thicker Than Blood [1]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Angst, Drinking, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, First Kiss, Fluff, Getting Together, Loki (Marvel) Has Issues, Loki (Marvel) Needs a Hug, Loki (Marvel) is a Good Bro, M/M, Nightmares, Not Infinity War compliant, Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), References to Steve/Tony, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Has Issues, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Tony and Loki have nightly coffee dates, and an even better boyfriend, and he's got Loki to help with that, because, dad Loki, dad tony stark, he'll figure it out - Freeform, is here as well, or at least he's trying to be a dad figure, so there's no spoilers here
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-02
Updated: 2018-05-02
Packaged: 2019-05-01 07:08:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,768
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14515086
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Imagined/pseuds/Imagined
Summary: Tony has lost so many people he cares about that it’s hard to believe he’ll ever have a family again. He’s lost his parents, he’s lost the Avengers. What he doesn’t expect is that sometimes, you find family where you least expect it. Sometimes, there are people just as broken and lost as you. Blood might be thicker than water, but there’s also things in this world that are thicker than blood.





	Last Night I Dreamt (That Somebody Loved Me)

**Author's Note:**

> I'm supposed to be doing lots of other things than writing fanfic. even if I was supposed to be writing fanfiction, I have two perfectly good unfinished WIPs. oops. I'll get back to that, but for now, I finished this thing, that I've been working on for a few weeks now. The title is inspired by The Smiths' song _Last Night I Dreamt That Somebody Loved Me_ (yes, what a surprise). I hope y'all enjoy!

‘’You think I did good? Really?’’

Tony can’t help but smile. ‘’Yeah, kid. Stop worrying about it, you did fine. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you fail a test.’’

Peter shrugs, and doesn’t meet Tony’s eyes. ‘’Yeah, sure, but it’s – it’s been a busy week, you know? I haven’t had much time to study.’’

Tony hesitates for only a second before clasping Peter’s shoulder. ‘’Trust me, you did great. Now, go to your aunt and have dinner with her. I’m sure she’d like to see you, before your school trip.’’

Peter gives him a grateful smile, and Tony lets him go. The boy slings his backpack over his shoulder, carefully putting his Spiderman mask over his face. ‘’See you around, Mr Stark!’’ he yells before he jumps out of the window, and that will never stop giving Tony a heart attack.

Tony watches him web up the buildings, mildly wondering what the people who are supposed to clean those think of the young superhero. The responses he imagines give him a few good chuckles.

Peter has been around more often. Maybe it’s a consequence of Tony returning to New York – he’s bought another tower. He’s in Avengers Compound often enough, but ever since the fallout of the Avengers, it hasn’t been home. Maybe some would consider it stupid, but it’s been hard for him to be reminded of his former teammates everywhere he looks. The Avengers were somewhat of a dysfunctional family, to him, and it’s been violently ripped apart.

At least he still has Rhodey and Pepper, like he has always had Rhodey and Pepper. 

It’s not entirely true. Tony has more than those two, but they are his constants, the people he can always trust to be there. He has Peter now, too, but while Tony is very fond of the young teenager, it’s not fair to rely on a kid. He’s a mentor to the boy, and that’s all he should be. He just wants to protect him, and help him protect others. That’s all there is to it.

Vision still lives in the Compound, and Tony sees him regularly, but it’s a bit weird. He’s not sure what they are, but Vision seems to like him. Tony mainly keeps away, even if he feels guilty about it. It’s not Vision’s fault that he doesn’t have JARVIS anymore, but it still hurts.

The rest of the Avengers are still missing. Well – Tony can guess where they’re hiding, but officially? He doesn’t know. He doesn’t want to know, because Ross would undoubtedly call even more often than he already does. 

So Tony lives alone, in his new tower, that he hasn’t given any kind of name yet. It’s not Stark Tower, nor is it Avengers Tower. It’s just the tower that he happens to spend time in, and where he occasionally sleeps. It’s not really a home, it’s not really anything at all, but the only place he feels safe when he wakes up because of the nightmares.

Tony takes a deep breath, and enters the workshop.

~*~

He didn’t expect to see the familiar faces that he hasn’t seen for the past two years, just three days later. 

Tony’s life, ever since what the press has dubbed the ‘Civil War’, has consisted of doing science. Whether it’s been upgrading his suit, working on a way to make the arc reactor more available, or other projects, there hasn’t been much else for him. Pepper isn’t his girlfriend anymore, which is probably for the best, and Rhodey has been healing. Tony doesn’t mean to smother either of them with his presence. There’s been some superhero work, but even that has only been the occasional small-time villain.

Tony knows something else is coming, and can’t seem to stop working. 

‘’Friend Tony,’’ Thor says, when Tony is on the roof. He’s gotten a message from FRIDAY, telling him that the spaceship had landed on his roof. Thor seems unbothered by the fact that it’s huge, full of unfamiliar faces peering at him. ‘’It’s been a long time.’’

‘’Yeah,’’ Tony says, still a bit dazed, watching the spaceship behind Thor. ‘’Two years. You brought some friends?’’

Thor smiles. It’s a soft smile, and Tony thinks he isn’t the only one who has been through some shit recently. There’s a different air about Thor – he’s still the same goofy guy that Tony got to know, but maybe he’s done some growing up, recently.

‘’These are my people, the Asgardians,’’ Thor says. ‘’Asgard has been destroyed by my sister. I’d explain, but it’s a rather long story. Do you have the space to harbour them, for some time?’’

‘’Um, yeah, sure,’’ Tony says. ‘’How many people are we talking about here? And since when do you have a sister? Are all your siblings bloodthirsty?’’

‘’It turns out that Thor is actually the odd one out,’’ someone drawls behind Tony. As he turns, he sees a very familiar villain standing there, arms crossed.

‘’Thor,’’ Tony takes a breath. ‘’Please, please tell me you have a good reason for bringing your homicidal brother here. Please tell me it’s not actually him.’’

Thor winces. ‘’Loki saved us, when it counted,’’ the god says. 

‘’I hate to say it, but he’s right,’’ another familiar voice says, and then there’s Bruce, standing before him. Tony looks to Thor, back to Bruce, to Thor, and to Bruce again, but it’s still his friend standing there, looking slightly amused, hair ruffled.

Tony takes a few steps to engulf his science bro in his arms, and Bruce awkwardly pats his back. Not much has changed, then, but man, Tony has been worried. ‘’You have no idea how glad I am to see you,’’ he finally says, as he releases him.

‘’I think we both have a lot to tell,’’ Bruce says.

~*~

It turns out that they both, indeed, have a lot to tell. Thor and Bruce join him for dinner – or well, if quickly ordering a few pizzas counts as dinner, which it does, to Tony – with Loki and an unfamiliar woman who’s introduced as Valkyrie hanging behind them. 

‘’So, let me just summarize this for a bit,’’ Tony says, munching on his pizza. ‘’The sister you didn’t know you had took over Asgard, hit you out of the sky so you landed on some planet very far away where you found this Asgardian woman to help you, my long-lost science bro, and your other villainous sibling? Awfully convenient, but okay. Then you went to confront your sister and your home was destroyed, so you’re here seeking refuge?’’

Thor shrugs. ‘’Yes, basically,’’ he says. Tony waits for something more to come, but it doesn’t. Thor just looks at him expectantly.

‘’Okay,’’ Tony sighs. ‘’Sure I have space for them. It’s not like I have that many Avengers to house, anymore. What’s a few Asgardians, anyway?’’

‘’Seems like you and Steve had a bad break-up,’’ Bruce says, looking around nervously. ‘’He won custody of the Avengers?’’

Tony huffs out a laugh. His and Steve’s differences still hurt, but it’s been a while now, and Tony has always masked his hurt with bad jokes and sarcasm. ‘’Steve’s a refugee in lots of countries right now, but I doubt we’ve seen the last of him and the others,’’ he says. ‘’They’ll come. If they need to. Which, right now, they don’t. I have Vision, and Rhodey, and this new kid, you’ll like him. They come by now and then.’’

‘’Sounds lonely,’’ Bruce says. 

‘’Am I ever?’’ Tony says, but Bruce is kind of right. He’s kind of lonely. It’s sad, for someone who has as much money as Tony, not to mention his reputation as playboy. Bruce shrugs. Tony knows that Bruce knows him better than most other people – that doesn’t mean Tony has to say outright that, yes, okay, Bruce is right.

Loki is watching him intently. Tony throws a pizza crust at him. 

‘’Can people stop throwing stuff at me,’’ the god whines.

‘’You’re a villain, you don’t get a say in this,’’ Tony tells him. ‘’If you cross the line just once, don’t doubt I’m going to kick your ass. I’ve made some lovely upgrades since your last visit, so don’t think I won’t.’’

‘’Loki won’t do anything,’’ Thor says. ‘’You have my word, friend. We are simply in need of a home, for now.’’

‘’You got it, big guy,’’ Tony says, nodding. ‘’I’ll make the preparations. I think everyone’ll fit into the tower – you’re lucky it’s still mainly empty.’’

‘’You’re a good friend, Tony Stark,’’ Thor says solemnly. Tony just ducks his head and leaves to get Pepper on the phone, who will undoubtedly scream at him for this.

~*~

Pepper does surprisingly little screaming, but she does a lot of sighing and ‘Tony’-ing and sounding tired and unhappy in general, so Tony still feels like he’s on her bad side when the phone call ends. At least he can help Thor and his people. With the entirety of Asgard walking around, he’s bound not to be so lonely anymore.

Or it’ll only get worse, because his home may be full of people who don’t give a shit about him.

Oh well. Nothing to do about it, anyway. 

Tony runs into a dark-skinned man with freaky golden eyes who eyes him earnestly as he goes by. ‘’Hey,’’ Tony says, trying to sound casual. ‘’One of Thor’s, are you?’’

‘’I am Heimdall,’’ the man says, nodding his head to him. ‘’I have watched you for some time now, Anthony Stark. You’re a good man.’’

Tony blinks. ‘’Um, yeah, right. So you’re Heimdall? You can see everything in the world? That’s very handy, I suppose.’’

Heimdall regards him silently, and Tony doesn’t know if he’s offended the guy or something. How the hell is he supposed to know what Asgardians think, even Asgardians like this that Thor holds in such high esteem.

‘’I will not tell you where your old teammates are,’’ Heimdall flat-out says.

Tony winces. ‘’For the record, I wasn’t going to ask,’’ he points out. ‘’Besides, I can hazard a guess. There’s not many places you can hide multiple superheroes for a long time with much success. They can do whatever. I don’t care anymore.’’ Or at least he tries not to care.

Heimdall tilts his head, when Valkyrie comes into the room. She watches them with raised eyebrows, before jerking her head to the door. ‘’Heimdall, Thor’s asking for you. Hey, Stark guy, do you have a drink anywhere? I could really use one.’’

‘’Why?’’ Tony asks, as he watches Heimdall leave. 

Valkyrie shrugs. ‘’Because I like the taste of it. What’s it to you?’’

‘’Fair enough,’’ Tony concedes. ‘’Let’s get drunk. It’ll be less pathetic if there’s two of us.’’

‘’I might actually like you,’’ Valkyrie says, and joins him.

~*~

The Asgardians settle in quite nicely. Tony makes sure that there are guys in the next day who can make the tower more or less ready for this many inhabitants. Most Asgardians share rooms, and Tony makes sure they have blankets and cushions and clothes and food. They’re not allowed to leave the tower, yet, and Tony starts thinking about setting them up in Avengers Compound. They won’t get lost in the city there, and have more space to themselves. But they’re just here; Tony doesn’t have the time to arrange everything.

He’s in the middle of a conversation with Thor in the god’s room, Loki reading a book and smirking at Tony when he catches his glances, when Tony receives a call.

It’s Peter, and Tony considers not taking it for only a second before he accepts the call. What if the boy needs him? What if something’s happened? Look at the last time he went to on a school trip!

Thor gives him a look, but Tony is already up, phone pressed to his ear. ‘’Hey, Peter. Everything alright? No villains there yet?’’

‘’ _Hi, Mr Stark!_ ’’ Peter answers. ‘’ _I just wanted to check in and thank you for looking over those upgrades I suggested!_ ’’

‘’Yeah, sure, no problem, so you're fine, right?’’ Tony says. ‘’Are you sleeping enough? No sneaking out as Spider-Man, are you? Also, say hi to Thor.’’ He puts the phone on the video function, laying it on the table so both he and Thor can be seen. ‘’Thor, this is Peter. He’s a baby superhero.’’

Peter, on the other side, also turns the camera on, waving at Thor. ‘’ _Oh my god! This is so cool!_ ’’ the teenager gasps. 

‘’Hello there,’’ Thor says, eyeing Tony.

''Yeah, yeah, god of thunder, get back to those questions I asked you, kid.''

‘’ _The trip is going fine, Mr Stark. We’re already returning tomorrow, no worries, I’m not doing anything dangerous._ ’’

‘’Of course you’re not,’’ Tony says. ‘’If you were, I’d come there myself and shoot some sense into you. It’s a school trip. They’re supposed to be boring.’’

‘’ _I actually think it’s really interesting_ ,’’ Peter says.

‘’That’s because you’re a nerd,’’ Tony tells him. ‘’Go have fun, okay. But not too much. I’ll know if you do. See you in a few days, kid!’’

‘’ _Bye, Mr Stark and Mr Thor!_ ’’ Peter says cheerfully, and then he’s gone.

Tony smiles. ‘’He’s a good kid,’’ he tells Thor. ‘’Has a good heart. I’m just trying to show him the ropes, I guess.’’

‘’There is always a need of heroes,’’ Thor confirms.

Tony sees Loki eyeing him again, something else in there now too, and ignores the evil god. If Loki wants to stare at him, let him. See if Tony cares.

~*~

Most of the Asgardians don’t bother Tony. They keep to themselves, mostly – they’re definitely easier to house than the Avengers, who broke stuff that needed replacing daily. Maybe that’s because Thor has told them to relax, or whatever, Tony’s not keeping track of any of that.

The only ones that Tony sees regularly are Thor, Loki and Valkyrie. Even this Heimdall guy keeps mostly to himself, which he doesn’t mind. And Tony really likes Valkyrie – they’re kind of the same, he thinks. They never really talk about the deep stuff, but there’s a kind of understanding between them that Tony doesn’t have with a lot of people.

He also has Bruce back, who he can play science bros with again. He’s really missed his friend, especially as he hadn’t thought he’d ever see him again. But Bruce is back, healthy as ever. He has asked about Natasha only once, which Tony was weird, because there was definitely something going on with those two before, but he doesn’t pry. Maybe whatever it was, it didn’t last the two years. Besides, it’s not like Tony can get in contact with Natasha anyway. He’s sure all the Avengers that Steve took with him wouldn’t like it if he tried. They all hate his guts, anyway.

He ignores the hurt he feels. He’s lying in his bed, but sleeping is a futile endeavour. It’s in the middle of the night, and he’s been tossing and turning for hours now. This is useless.

Tony sighs to himself and turns on the lights with a flick of his fingers, sitting upright in bed. If he’s not going to sleep, he better go do something useful.

He gets dressed in a sweatpants and his MIT sweater, because they’re the comfiest clothes he owns. No need to get dressed up for science, but he knows better than to do it naked by now. That was a very stupid mistake he’s sure not to make again. He still has the scars to show for that one incident.

Feeling somewhat better now, that he can focus on other stuff, he first walks into the kitchen to make himself some coffee. 

‘’Good night to you, too,’’ he hears as he turns on the lights, and then he sees Loki sitting on the couch, blinking against the lights, seemingly annoyed. His dark hair is a mess, curls falling over his shoulder, and there are shadows under his eyes, easily discernable considering how pale his skin is. Loki hasn’t put on very fancy clothes, either – he’s wearing pyjamas, and that’s something Tony never thought he’d see. All in all, Loki looks irritated, but otherwise… harmless.

‘’Shouldn’t you go to bed, or something?’’ Tony manages to say. Sue him, he doesn’t know how to talk to people that used to be his enemy. He’s still not sure what Loki is, beside the fucked-up brother of his teammate.

Loki rolls his eyes. ‘’I could say the same to you, Stark. As it happens, I find that sleeping has lost its appeal.’’

Which is a fancy way of saying he can’t sleep. Tony finds himself wondering why that is. Maybe nightmares, or overthinking. There has to be something that has made Loki as jaded as he is. ‘’That happens,’’ he says, with a shrug. ‘’You want coffee?’’

Maybe he can give Loki a chance. He’s seen the guy walk around by himself more than once, but he hasn’t pulled anything yet. Maybe he just looks a bit lonely. And Tony could use some company, even if he doesn’t want to admit it.

Loki makes an expression Tony can’t decipher, and looks away. ‘’With milk, please.’’

Tony shrugs. ‘’Gross. You know, if you wanted to poison your coffee, you could just get that cheap stuff from the supermarkets. I get this shipped from Italy, you know? I kid you not, this is a real Italian brand coffee, and you’re going to throw milk in it. It’s a blasphemy. No wonder you’re evil if you put milk in your coffee.’’

But he takes out two cups anyway, starting the coffee machine. Loki watches him with his eyebrows raised. ‘’I wonder what that says about Thor,’’ the god drawls. ‘’Whenever he takes this drink of yours, he fills half of it with milk.’’

‘’Thor isn’t bitter enough to drink coffee,’’ Tony says, pouring coffee into the cups. ‘’This drink is reserved for those who have insomnia, nightmares, and dark souls.’’

‘’Well, in that case, I am more than allowed to have it,’’ Loki responds, taking the hot cup from Tony’s hands. Tony stills as he feels Loki’s cold fingers ghost over his own, before they’re gone. ‘’Thank you, Stark.’’

‘’No problem,’’ he says, sitting down with his own cup. ‘’So, want to talk about the sleep thing? Because you and me sitting here is going to get awkward real fast if we don’t have something to talk about.’’

Loki blinks at him. ‘’Not particularly,’’ he says, blowing on his coffee carefully. ‘’You’re not my psychiatrist, Stark, nor my friend.’’

‘’Well, fair enough,’’ Tony shrugs. ‘’Then tell my why you’re staring at me all the time.’’

Loki huffs out a laugh. ‘’A question for a question.’’

‘’Sure. I’m up for a deal with the devil anytime.’’

‘’Not necessarily the devil, but close enough, I guess,’’ Loki allows. ‘’The answer is that you interest me. Even now, you’re offering your house and drinking coffee with someone who’s tried to kill you a few years earlier. It doesn’t seem to bother you at all. You, Stark, are a man full of paradoxes, and I like that.’’

Tony takes a sip of his coffee. ‘’You can give me compliments all you like, I don’t put out on the first date.’’

Loki smirks. ‘’As if you could resist if I tried. My turn. _Why_ is it that you’re letting everyone in to come live here with you?’’

Tony shrugs. ‘’I have the space. You forget that I’ve spend some time with Thor, when he was on Earth. I consider him a friend, and he’s my teammate.’’

‘’Your team doesn’t exist anymore,’’ Loki points out.

‘’Well, we do, but we’re not exactly the same, I’ll give you that. Not since the Sokovia Accords.’’

Loki regards him. ‘’Correct me if I’m wrong. Did you love Rogers?’’

Tony spits out his coffee, coughing. Loki doesn’t move, eyes on him. ‘’Holy shit, you don’t go around asking people that,’’ Tony says. ‘’Where did you even get that impression anyway?’’

Loki shrugs. ‘’I’ve overheard some conversations between Banner and Thor. Besides, you have that look on your face when you hear or say his name. I thought we were sharing truths.’’

‘’I don’t have a _look_ ,’’ Tony protests. ‘’This is none of your business. You were my _enemy_ , for God’s sake, at best you’re my friend’s delusional brother.’’

‘’I don’t see how saying yes or no would harm you.’’ Loki plays with his cup, mischievous smile on his face, but it’s not unkind. Tony doesn’t quite know how it makes him feel. ‘’Everyone already thinks you were in a relationship with your precious Captain anyway. Besides, you can ask me whatever you’d like to know.’’

Tony can’t see why Loki would benefit from this. ‘’I’ll answer, if you tell me about the sleeping thing,’’ he says.

It’s hardly noticeable, but Tony is more perceptive than people give him credit for, and he notices the way Loki’s shoulder sag.

‘’Maybe next time,’’ Loki says, and that’s that.

~*~

‘’Do people really think that I was having a thing for Steve?’’ Tony asks Bruce, the next time he sees him. It’s late in the morning, and Tony’s lab is already occupied by another scientist. He doesn’t mean to ask, but it slips out; it’s been bugging him all night.

Bruce takes a deep breath and turns around to face him. ‘’You mean you didn’t? You can be honest with me, Tony.’’

Tony just stares. ‘’So that joke about the bad break-up? That wasn’t really a joke? You really think I liked Steve?’’

Bruce sighs and takes off his glasses, cleaning them. ‘’What do you want to hear, Tony? I’m surprised you didn’t know. We all thought you and Steve would end up together, somehow.’’

‘’Well, we didn’t, and we aren’t, and we were never going to,’’ Tony says. ‘’Why didn’t anyone say anything, Bruce? Why is it that I have to hear this from Loki, of all people?’’

‘’Loki told you?’’ Bruce asks, eyebrows raised. ‘’Didn’t it cross your mind that maybe he wanted to, I don’t know, upset you? Use it against you? Loki isn’t exactly a nice guy, Tony.’’

And yet, it was Tony who asked the question that Loki refused to answer. ‘’Neither am I,’’ he says absentmindedly. ‘’I don’t know, Bruce. I don’t think Loki was out to get me.’’

‘’That guy gets into your head, I’m telling you,’’ the other man says, shrugging. ‘’I didn’t know you talked to him, anyway. He usually stays with Thor and Valkyrie.’’

Tony is on the verge of telling Bruce about how he ran into him, but stops himself at the last minute. He actually kind of liked sitting there, talking with Loki, until he asked that question about Steve. It was fun, and easy, and that’s something he did not expect from someone who he had thought of as his enemy only a week earlier. But Loki doesn’t give off the same vibe he did those years ago – he seems more in control, if not exactly sane. Mischief, instead of evil.

But well, that’s just the feeling Tony has. It might mean nothing.

‘’Forget it,’’ he mutters, and gets to science.

~*~

It’s two days later when Peter meets the Asgardians. He enters the building in the way buildings are supposed to be entered, this time, by which Tony means that he uses the elevator instead of slinging his way up, and the first thing he sees is Bruce reading the newspaper.

Tony tried to convince him that newspapers made out of actual paper are bad for the environment and that they have enough electronics on which he could read the news, but Bruce ignored him, so, whatever.

‘’Dr Banner!’’ the teenager gasps, and goes right past Tony to shake hands with his science bro.

‘’Right,’’ Tony rolls his eyes. Peter may have gotten over his hero worshipping of Tony, but now there are two shiny new Avengers that he can marvel over. 

Tony ignores the unexpected stab of jealousy he feels and walks over the couch, as a bewildered Bruce shakes Peter’s hand. ‘’And you are?’’ the man says uncertainly.

‘’This is Peter Parker,’’ Tony cuts in, ‘’also known as Spider-Man. He’s helped out, now and then.’’

‘’Your work is so awesome, I can’t believe it,’’ Peter says, still shaking Bruce’s hand. ‘’And the Hulk is even better, oh my god, I can’t believe I’m actually meeting you. Is there a secret, or something? How do you control it?’’

‘’I don’t,’’ Bruce says drily, shooting a look at Tony. ‘’One of yours, Tony?’’

‘’Not in the way you’re thinking,’’ Tony corrects him quickly. No matter what anyone believes, he’s always been very careful about not getting anyone pregnant. Peter’s not his in any way. Tony doesn’t have any family at all.

Bruce smirks at him. Then Thor, Loki and Valkyrie enter.

‘’Hey, where are you coming from?’’ Bruce asks, turning around to face them.

‘’You don’t want to know,’’ Loki informs him.

‘’Hey, guys, this is Peter,’’ Tony says, and Peter waves at them. ‘’Peter, these are Thor, Loki, and Valkyrie. They live here for the moment with all other Asgardians.’’

‘’Wasn’t Loki a bad guy?’’ Peter asks, eyeing him for a moment. The raven-haired god narrows his eyes at him.

‘’We’re trying not to put labels on people here,’’ Tony intervenes what could become a deadly situation. ‘’Peter, I have something for you in the lab, just wait a minute.’’ 

It doesn’t take long for Tony to get the improved sensors he made for Peter’s suit, and he really thinks the teenager will appreciate it. He’s never failed to thank Tony for anything, after all, even if Tony doesn’t really know how to show him that he cares, too, and that he does all of this so Peter is safe. When he gets back, he finds the company of five that he left, Peter laughing about something.

He feels like the intruder in his own home, for a moment. He just stands there, his hands full with the new technology, looking at Peter laughing at Bruce’s science joke for a minute. It’s Loki who notices him standing there, and he feels like a deer caught in headlights. ‘’Stark?’’ Loki says, and it’s almost concerned, but Tony doesn’t care, and he drops the sensors into Peter’s hand as soon as he strides over to the couch.

‘’I have to run, but feel free to stay, and um, talk to you soon, kid,’’ he says, and can almost just convince himself not to run away.

‘’Mr Stark, wait!’’ he hears behind him, ‘’Bruce, what just happened?’’

Well. At least Peter’s making friends. He’s apparently on first name basis with Bruce already, for all Tony has tried to convince Peter to call him by his first name, too.

He can’t help but feel like he’s being replaced. It’s not a feeling he cares much for.

He needs to get a coffee. Not in this building.

~*~

No one is waiting for him, when he gets back. Not that Tony expected anyone to – it’s five in the morning, and he has spent all night wandering through New York. It was refreshing, because no one actually talked to him out on the streets. He could walk around without getting questioned on the future of the Avengers, and if Steve really is a criminal, and if maybe they are the bad guys, and if he’d slept with anyone lately.

No one is waiting for him, and Tony tells himself to stop caring.

~*~

All is well, the coming week. Nobody comments on Tony’s hightailing out of the building, and he speaks with Peter, who doesn’t say anything about it either, but tells him about the A he got for the test he made before his school trip. 

He still drinks with Valkyrie, and jokes with Thor, and does science with Bruce. He has a few meetings with Pepper, which go fine, and talks with Rhodey over the phone, which is also fine. He’s completely fine, like he’s always been.

He’s not lonely. Not at all.

~*~

Surprisingly enough, it’s Loki who finds him. 

Tony is alone on the floor, and maybe a bit drunk. He should maybe have done this in his own penthouse, but he was out of booze. There’s enough in the general area, because Valkyrie lives here. Tony learnt very early on that he should have enough alcohol stacked if he wants to maintain the peace around here.

‘’Stark?’’ Loki says, and the lights flicker on.

‘’You were right,’’ Tony says, ‘’and you weren’t. Not even a bit. Funny how that works, huh?’’

‘’I don’t know what you’re on about, but you need to get up and go to bed.’’

‘’Steve,’’ Tony clarifies, shaking with the empty bottle in his hand. He doesn’t even know what was in there. It tasted well enough, at least. Though taste was the last thing on his mind, as he drank it. ‘’I did love Steve. Or the idea of Steve, at least. I don’t think I actually loved the real Steve, as he was. But he’s been my hero since I was a kid, you know? You probably don’t. You have no idea what it’s like to grow up as you’re constantly compared to this hero figure. Maybe my dad loved him. Anyway, I liked Steve. But that wouldn’t have been anything, anyway. He’s never liked me, not even when I really tried. I am just this broken thing with money and brains, and he’s this wholesome guy that’s unreachable. And you know what? We would’ve crashed and burned. I would have resented him. I already do. Saying the Avengers are my family, and then taking them anyway. I don’t have any family, and I haven’t since I was a kid, because his buddy killed them, but whatever. Whatever. I don’t care. If I’m going to care about that, I need more to drink.’’

‘’I think that’s the exact thing you don’t need,’’ Loki says, and Tony kind of forgot he was there. But the god is there, and he’s crouching in front of Tony. ‘’Besides, I do know how that feels. I grew up with Thor, the golden son.’’

Tony thinks about that for a moment in his dazed stupor. ‘’Why didn’t they like you?’’ he asks. ‘’Why is Thor the golden son? You’re cool, aren’t you? When you’re not killing people, I think. I think you’re pretty cool. You have the – the magic thing. That’s cool. And you’re the whole tall brooding dark and handsome type, I’d go for that. I mean, the muscly blond thing is fine, you know, it’s fine. Looking damn good. What was I talking about?’’

‘’I do not have the faintest idea,’’ Loki says, but he’s not making eye contact.

‘’We should have coffee again,’’ Tony offers. ‘’I can’t sleep all the time. Pick a night.’’

Loki huffs out a laugh and says something under his breath that he can’t hear. ‘’You should go to bed, Stark.’’

‘’Coffee tomorrow night?’’ Tony asks stubbornly. ‘’Promise I won’t ask about why you don’t sleep.’’

‘’Fine,’’ Loki allows. ‘’Two in the morning, here. I’ll make the coffee.’’

‘’It’s a date,’’ Tony says, and passes out.

~*~

The reason Tony wakes up is the strip of light falling over his eyes. He groans and turns around, cuddling his pillow. It smells clean, and it’s comfortable and warm in his bed, but now that he’s awake he won’t be able to sleep again.

He sits up, blinking his eyes blearily. He’s in his own room, but has no recollection of how he got here. He remembers the night pretty well, though, so he guesses it’s Loki. Who he has told a lot about stuff he didn’t want anyone to know, by now. Stuff that he never even liked thinking about.

Well. It’s not like Loki has any use of the knowledge. The worst that could happen is Steve finding out, but even that wouldn’t be that big anymore. It’s not like Tony still thinks of him like that; he can’t, not knowing what he knows now. There isn’t anything that Loki can do with knowing about how Tony feels about certain stuff, and he calms down.

He also remembers that he has to see Loki this night again. He doesn’t run into the god very often, during the day. He doesn’t know what Loki is up to, but Thor informed him it’s nothing bad or harmful in any way imaginable, so Tony just let it slide. But it seems they’re bound to be meeting at night, time and time again.

He just curses himself, and ignores that he’s maybe a bit glad to see Loki again.

How did he get into his bedroom, anyway?

~*~

Peter’s already there, when Tony gets to the lab, working on something with Bruce.

‘’Hey, Mr Stark,’’ Peter greets him, and Tony represses the urge to make a joke about the sizeable safety glasses he’s wearing. After all, he wouldn’t want Peter to stop wearing them and get hurt. ‘’I was looking for you, but FRIDAY said you were still sleeping, so Bruce invited me into the lab.’’

‘’Oh, yeah, good call, sciencing with Bruce is awesome,’’ he responds, scratching the back of his neck.

‘’Stop trying to make it a verb, Tony!’’ he hears Bruce call from somewhere he can’t see. Ah well, the lab is rather big, after all.

‘’It’s too late, they already made it a verb while you were out adventuring in space,’’ he calls back, winking at Peter. ‘’Hey, what did you come to see me for, kid?’’

The teenager shrugs. ‘’I wanted to ask if I could see those upgrades on the Spider-Man suit you made, go over them together, but could we do that later? I’m kind of in the middle of an experiment with Bruce. We’re trying to see if –‘’

‘’Tell me later, I have to go anyway,’’ Tony says, turning away. ‘’Have fun with Bruce. Don’t make him angry, lots of expensive stuff in here. See you later, kid.’’

He’s not running away. He’s not. He really has stuff to do – it’s not that he doesn’t want to hear why Bruce’s stuff is more interesting than his. Peter has another scientist in his life, now, and a good man that Tony likes and respects too. Someone who will be better able to help Peter through stuff and teach him some valuable lessons. Someone who would’ve been better at this mentoring thing, anyway.

It’s a good thing, Tony tells himself.

Let Peter get the mentor he deserved all along.

~*~

Tony manages to get stuff done during the day, because he’s an adult who also has a job, and goes to two meetings. He’s an hour late, but at least he’s there, which is more what he can say for the meeting that was planned in the morning when he was still sleeping.

He’s Tony Stark. It’s not like they expect him to do anything right, anyway.

He goes in, dazzles everyone with smiles and handshakes, throws out some ideas, and leaves after about twenty minutes. Pepper wouldn’t like it if he stayed longer, because if Tony stays longer, the meeting is bound to crash. Tony’s best enjoyed in small amounts of time, she likes to say. He thinks she’s right.

In the time between the meetings, he gets himself some ice cream.

~*~

When Tony finally makes it back to the tower, Peter has already gone home. Tony manages to do some science in the workshop, all by himself, which is fine by him. He’s trying not to need people, so it should be fine, at least. He manages to continue his work until his stomach starts aching, and he goes to the kitchen, vaguely wondering what the time even is. It’s silent in the Tower, and it’s empty but for Bruce is sitting in the kitchen, sipping some sort of green tea. Tony makes a face at it.

‘’So, did you have fun with Peter today?’’ he asks. He isn’t torturing himself. He really isn’t.

Bruce looks up. ‘’Hmm?’’ he says absent-mindedly. ‘’Oh, Peter. Yes, he’s very bright. There was a bit of an accident, though, so he left before we were done.’’

‘’An accident?’’ Tony repeats, clutching the table. ‘’How bad? Is he hurt? What happened?’’

Bruce blinks at him. ‘’Slow down, Tony. I think he’s fine, he said it wasn’t too bad.’’

‘’You didn’t check?’’

‘’Why should I?’’ Bruce furrows his brow, setting down his tea. ‘’Are you alright, Tony?’’

Tony sits down. ‘’How could you not check? Peter’s a kid, Bruce. He needs supervision and care and damn it, I know I shouldn’t have left. What if he has to go to the hospital? Why didn’t you call me? Why didn’t Peter call me, for that matter?’’

‘’Because you’re not his dad, Tony,’’ Bruce intervenes. ‘’I’ve never seen you like this. What’s gotten you all in a frenzy? Are you alright?’’

‘’He doesn’t _have_ a dad,’’ Tony says, standing up again. ‘’Who’s going to take care of him, huh? I thought he’d be safe with you, that you’d be better at this than I am. If he gets hurt, we take care of him, Bruce. We’re the adults here, okay? He’s not supposed to worry about stuff like that!’’

Bruce pushes up his glasses. ‘’Oh god. You _are_ a dad. And you were going to hand him over to my care, because you’re pushing people away again. Tony, I’m not the best person for this. I’m bad with kids, I don’t like them that much, but you do. You have no idea how much Peter talked about you while we were down there. He doesn’t want to bother you, so he was spending some time with me.’’

Tony squints his eyes at his friend. That doesn’t seem right. Peter admired him, when they first met, sure, but it’s been two years since then. Surely Peter knows that there are better people in this world than Tony. But Bruce isn’t one to lie to him. Besides – ‘’I’m not a dad. I’m a kid, Pepper always says so.’’

‘’You’re going to have to talk with Peter about this,’’ Bruce says. ‘’Not now, put down the phone, Tony. It’s one in the morning, I don’t think he’s going to be awake.’’

‘’I doubt that,’’ Tony mutters, because there’s a big chance Peter is still doing some homework or patrolling as Spider-Man. There’s too little hours in the day for his protégée, and that is something that he recognizes.

He doesn’t want to hope that Peter really prefers him over the others, because it sounds pathetic when he hears himself thinking it. There’s something in him that can’t deny that he really cares about the teenager, though, that may even want to be some kind of parental figure in his life. Tony has always loved kids, but having one of his own seemed like a faraway dream, something that would happen one day when he was older and with the right person. None of that had happened.

But in Peter he sees himself, sometimes, in some ways. And Tony finds that he needs to help Peter to not make the mistakes he did. Still, calling him at one in the morning doesn’t seem like a good idea. He can check up on him later. Besides, if it’s that time already, he has that coffee date with Loki in an hour. 

He looks at himself, covered in oil and sweat. He should probably take a shower first.

‘’I’m going to bed, which you should do too,’’ Bruce says, standing up, looking at Tony pointedly. ‘’You have to talk to Peter about this, Tony. He deserves to know what you’re doing, too.’’

‘’Yeah, yeah,’’ Tony mutters, as Bruce leaves the room. He stands still for a moment, before he smells himself.

Yeah, showering is a priority.

~*~

Tony isn’t sure why he’s walking down to the kitchen later. Loki isn’t how he imagined the god would be. The thing is, in the few interactions they’ve had, Tony’s felt sort of… less lonely. Like Loki is someone who understands what he’s saying, and also the things he isn’t saying. It’s weird, because Loki used to be his enemy, but that’s been years, and Tony’s hateful feelings towards the guys have kind of numbed. He actually thinks he kind of likes the god, now.

Sure enough, Loki is sitting there, wearing a comfortable hoodie. There’s two cups of steaming coffee before him, and Loki raises his eyebrows at Tony when he enters. ‘’I didn’t know whether you would show up.’’

‘’And yet, you made me coffee,’’ Tony counters, sitting down. ‘’Why wouldn’t I show up?’’

‘’Let’s say you were heavily intoxicated when I agreed to this.’’

‘’Oh, don’t worry, I remember everything,’’ Tony shrugs. ‘’I’m surprised you agreed to show up, actually. Why’d you do that?’’

‘’Question for a question,’’ Loki says, and Tony rolls his eyes at that, but nods. ‘’Because I knew I would not be sleeping anyway, and it seems useless to waste away my time by myself rather than spend it with you.’’

‘’That’s kind of flattering,’’ Tony says, taking the first sip of his coffee. It’s scalding hot, but it tastes good, so he goes in for a second sip.

‘’Hardly,’’ Loki notes. ‘’Why are you avoiding the boy that you obviously care about?’’

‘’Why are you always asking the hard questions?’’ Tony asks. ‘’This is definitely not on the same level as my question. I’m not avoiding Peter.’’

Loki tilts his head at him. ‘’I don’t mean to be unfair. I truly don’t understand. You act like his father, though you’re not his natural one, I can understand that. What I don’t understand is why you are becoming distant with him. He does not want Banner, Stark. He’s here for you.’’

‘’You wouldn’t understand,’’ Tony says, but he doesn’t stand up. 

‘’He looks up to you,’’ Loki continues. ‘’I have barely met the boy and I can see it. Children should not be neglected by their parent figures, Stark. He should not have to suffer for your imagined wrongdoings.’’

Tony sighs. ‘’You’re right, maybe,’’ he says. ‘’I just don’t think I’m the kind of person that Peter would look up to. I thought that it’d be over in a few years. And I sure as hell didn’t think I would care this much about him, and it feels unfair he should care about me at all. I’m not a good role model. I’m just – do you know how I decide how I should handle Peter? I look at the stuff my dad did, and then I do the opposite. It’s fucked up, and I don’t know how to handle this. I wasn’t supposed to handle this. I’m not his guardian, I’m not his uncle, I’m not his dad, I’m just the guy who saw his potential and wanted to help him reach it. Keep him safe in the process.’’

Loki smiles, and that’s a sight Tony never thought he’d see. ‘’Welcome to parenthood, Stark,’’ he says, taking a sip of his own cup of coffee. ‘’It does hardly matter how you came by it. Blood might be thicker than water, but some things are even thicker than blood. I learned that the hard way.’’

‘’Why do you even care about any of this?’’ Tony asks. ‘’About me, about Peter? What’s it to you?’’

Loki shrugs, and doesn’t look Tony in the eyes. ‘’I don’t.’’

‘’You’re lying,’’ Tony points out. Loki smiles again, but it’s softer this time, like they’re having an inside joke. If that’s what this is, than Tony is missing out on it.

‘’You’re right,’’ Loki admits. ‘’I already told you that you interest me. You might not like to agree with me, but I think we have some things in common, though we may have turned out quite differently. And as for your relationship with Peter – it’s not common knowledge, but I have some children of my own. Twin boys, actually, Narvi and Vali. They’re both still rather young, but I haven’t seen them in years. Their mother took them to her home planet. I do not know whether they even remember me, but I used to spend hours with them. I did not mean to become a father, but being one… nothing compares, Stark. Even if everyone thinks I’m only a villain, even if I’ve never done anything right and never will, I have sons out there.’’

‘’I never pictured you as a dad,’’ Tony says, because he really didn’t. It’s just – he’s only seen Loki as the enemy they fought, as Thor’s unstable brother, and maybe now… he doesn’t know what Loki is now. Because he likes Loki, somehow, but he also still has nightmares about that very first alien attack, and it’s weird.

Loki shrugs, and finishes his coffee. ‘’It’s been odd, the past few years. Maybe it’s for the best if they do not have a father at all.’’

‘’Hey, no,’’ Tony says. ‘’If you’re saying Peter benefits from having me around, for whatever reason, than you can’t not say the same about yourself. Dads are horrible, okay? But losing my dad was even worse. If you’re staying away from your sons because you think they’re better off without you, think again. You’re not the one that should get to decide if they have a father or not, they should.’’ 

He stands up, getting his coffee, but he hasn’t finished it yet and spills over himself. ‘’Careful,’’ Loki says, by his side immediately as Tony eyes his shirt. 

The coffee wasn’t that hot anymore, so it doesn’t hurt, but the white shirt is kind of ruined, and Tony sighs. ‘’Maybe getting some sleep would stop me from doing stuff like this,’’ he mutters, putting away the now empty cup.

Loki shrugs, and lays his hand on Tony’s shirt. Tony stops breathing – Loki’s very close, suddenly. Close enough that Tony can see his whimpers, as Loki’s hands starts glowing a faint green and the spot disappears.

‘’Thanks?’’ Tony tries, but Loki doesn’t step away.

Their eyes meet. ‘’Magic comes at a price,’’ he murmurs.

Tony doesn’t know who moves first. Thing is, suddenly his lips are pressed against Loki’s, the god’s hand grabbing his shirt to get him closer, Tony moving his hands into Loki’s hair to make sure it doesn’t end. Loki is the one who pushes him against the wall, his other hand resting on Tony’s middle, gripping him tightly.

They only break apart when he hears his shirt rip, Loki staring at the torn piece of clothing with a dumbfounded look on his face, as if he’s only realizing what has been happening at that moment.

‘’Um,’’ Tony says. ‘’That does make you cleaning the shirt somewhat redundant.’’

‘’That’s truly the first thing you want to say?’’ Loki asks, taking a step back.

‘’Hey, wait,’’ Tony takes Loki’s hand before he can even think of anyone else. He doesn’t know what he’s doing, but he knows that kissing Loki wasn’t something that felt bad. He actually – he liked it. And he likes Loki. ‘’It’s not, I liked that. I like you.’’

‘’I tried to kill you and enslave your planet,’’ Loki points out dryly. 

‘’And now you’re here giving me parenting advice for a teenage boy and telling me about your own sons,’’ Tony counters. ‘’Look, I know all of that. I know it may not seem logical, but this – there’s a thing, here. Don’t deny it. I’m not saying that we have to stick with it, but why not try this?’’

Loki sighs, watching Tony carefully and silently for a few seconds. Tony holds his gaze, determined not to give in. ‘’I suppose you’re right,’’ he finally says. ‘’I do find you… appealing, in certain ways. You just should know that I do not share.’’

‘’Duly noted,’’ Tony says, and presses his body against Loki’s again.

~*~

Tony doesn’t get a lot of sleep, that night, but at least it’s not because of nightmares this time. He wakes up by himself, but figures that doesn’t really mean anything. 

He’s feeling refreshed, even if he thinks he should really get a better sleeping schedule. It has probably more to do with this sudden relationship he found himself in. He didn’t even know he was attracted to Loki, but sometimes things fall in place more suddenly than previously thought. 

All he has to do now is talk to Peter, because that’s something that is long overdue. And it’s not something that should happen over the phone either.

Tony’s going to visit his protégée.

~*~

‘’Hey, kid,’’ he says when Peter answers the door.

‘’Mr Stark!’’ Peter says, letting him in quickly. ‘’I didn’t know you were coming! Is something wrong, or…?’’

‘’Not necessarily,’’ Tony says. ‘’Is your aunt at home?’’

‘’She’s doing groceries. Why?’’

‘’Because I need to talk to you,’’ he steps inside, Peter closing the door behind him, still staring.

‘’I’ll just, uh –‘’ Peter starts, but shakes his head in the middle of the sentence, seemingly trying to get himself together. ‘’Is this about the Avengers? Because I know I’m not one, officially, but I thought that maybe you changed your mind about that too?’’

Peter’s eyes are big, staring at him with some kind of worry and determination and regret, all mixed. Tony just stares back, wondering what the kid is even talking about. ‘’What do you mean, kid?’’

Peter immediately seems to scramble back, walking into the kitchen. Tony just follows, not letting this go. He’s here to talk with him, not get back to the wondering of whether Peter even wants him around at all. Because if he told Loki that it’s his sons that get to decide whether Loki can be there, then it’s also up to Peter whether Tony can. 

Tony hasn’t had a lot of time to think on it, but in many ways, Peter is the closest thing he has to a child. And that thought both terrifies him and makes him happy, because it’s not something that he ever thought he would have. But here he is.

‘’Mr Stark –‘’ Peter starts again, but Tony holds up his hand to silence the boy.

‘’Tony, kid. My name’s Tony. None of that Mr Stark nonsense anymore, how long have you known me by now? How often have I dragged your ass out of trouble? How often have I tried to tell you something, and then you turn around and show me that you’re always capable of more than I thought? I’m not here to, I don’t know what you thought, kick you off whatever team there even is. I’m here to tell you that I’m proud of you. And I’m here to tell you that I – well, that I care. Basically.’’

‘’Really?’’ Peter just stares at him. Tony isn’t really used to saying things like this out loud, but he’s dealing with a kid here, his protégée, and he doesn’t want to beat around the bush anymore. ‘’That’s – Mr St… Tony. I care too, you know?’’

‘’I know,’’ Tony says, maybe a bit too hastily, backtracking to the front door so he doesn’t have to look Peter into the eye. 

‘’Um, hey, wait,’’ Peter says, and Tony stops, watching the kid stare at him with those big brown eyes of his. ‘’Do you, I mean, do you still want to go over those Spider-Man upgrades together? If you have time?’’

Tony has three meetings and an interview to get to, has lots of stuff to do to move the Asgardians into the Avengers Compound, and has a timed experiment in the Tower, but he just smiles.

‘’I’d love to, Peter,’’ he says.

~*~

Maybe Tony shouldn’t be surprised to find Loki sitting in the kitchen, two steaming mugs of coffee in front of him. There’s a soft expression on his face, something that Tony would never have thought to see only a few days earlier.

There’s a lot to Loki that he didn’t know previously, but he plans to learn about it.

‘’How did you know I’d be here?’’ Tony just asks, sitting down and taking his mug.

Loki shrugs. ‘’I had a feeling.’’

Tony is silent for a few seconds, blowing on his coffee. ‘’You were right,’’ he then says.

‘’Of course I was. I’m right about a lot of things.’’

Tony just tilts his head, smiling at the god. ‘’I also have a feeling,’’ he then says. ‘’I have feeling that things might just work out.’’

**Author's Note:**

> find me on tumblr as [tonystarrks](https://tonystarrks.tumblr.com/) and feel free to drop a comment! I just live for dads tony and loki I guess.
> 
> also, free cookies to whoever spots the ouat reference. it's not hard to find, if you've ever watched a single episode of ouat.


End file.
